Thomas Ackerley is only mostly serious.

( One contradiction over another )

Hm. I've been thinking. Does anyone else find it the least bit interesting that not three days after the forum Hughes is found dead? I mean, clearly the autopsy report has yet to be filed and put on the record and all of that, and I'm sure that there was no foul play. I mean, the man was practically ancient. However, I will admit, take or leave what he was talking about when he was at the forum, you have to hand it to him, he was a hell of a public speaker. I liked listening to him speak much better than that Shepperd woman. Mostly because I felt all she did was whine rather than spark an actual debate.

Anyway, just something I was thinking about and found interesting is all.

Now that I'm officially done with finals, and school work in general, I thought I would impart just some of the things that I've learned here over the last few years. And for those of you keeping score at home, yes, there will be a pop quiz on this down the line so it might behoove you to pay attention now.

( Cut for length )

Finally, I plan on attending the Forum tonight to discuss the relevancy of the Statute of Secrecy. If anyone would like to accompany me, I plan on leaving for Hogsmeade at around 6:45, as I think I'd like a good seat for this one.

If your girlfriend suddenly hits the deck and you know you're in among the general muggle population, why in the hell would you draw your wand? Why not just start shouting? Because clearly if people showed up that fast, you weren't exactly out in the middle of no where. And more importantly...why didn't you just take them all out? Because stunning all of them wouldn't have taken that much time at all...

Clearly this Shale bloke is a certified genius. But it at least lends my theory to that not all people are created equally.

Considering that I was awoken at a disturbingly early hour by some of my fellow students who were still "wrapping up" their evening of what I can only assume was debauchery and drinking. And I only assume that due to the level of puke that they expelled onto the EIK lawn, plus the fact that they were still shouting about how many "shots" that they were still in disbelief that they did. So, what does this have to do with anything you might ask yourself? Well, I've decided to take it upon myself to talk to all of you about some safety guide lines about "Spring Break". Because I am also on break, which means, I won't be around to help any of you, and I assure you, that the med staff at the med center, are also mentally on break and not usually up to their A-game. Even if they insist otherwise. Because they have to say those things. But think about it? A majority of our little population gone, the temptation to check out mentally for the week is greater than usual. And statistically? This is the week when the most mistakes are made. Just some food for thought. So! With that being said, onto some helpful guide lines to help you not die this week!

( Cut for length )

So with that being said, have fun all of you Spring Breakers. And I hope that it was worth it in the end.

Working/observing the night shift tonight and Saturday night. That should be interesting. I mean, I've heard stories and from everything I can gather, the freaks really do come out at night. The only problem is that I usually have to watch my mouth around those people. But, the good news is that I've gotten much better with holding back on the "Did you even take those two extra seconds to think about it before you swallowed that potion?" and like comments. Even if the guy I'm working with says that I'm a "funny guy". Right. Funny.

But on the bright side, before I leave tonight, I'm taking Hannah out for a belated birthday dinner at one of her favorite spots. I know, it might be hard to keep track of which one Hannah is, because due to recent publications, I have eighteen sisters. And for the record, all but three are named Susan.

( Hexed heavily to EIK:Z )

Brutal day at the office. Children are not to be trusted. Among other valuable lessons I learned today. Like when trying to remove a elephant trunk from a man, make sure that you give yourself enough space to not be hit in the gut with it. And when stabilizing a women with whose head has suddenly become a teapot, stay clear of her head, it just might start emitting steam and burn the fuck out of you. And that was all before lunch, it just got better from there.

Really Barbara? Really?

I just...I have no words....I'm going to lock you in a closet.

Okay. This has to stop. This just has to stop now. We were waiting in the on call room today and one of the "volunteers" somehow found out that I have no plans for tomorrow except go to class, and kept trying to set me up on dates with one of her granddaughters. I'm sure they're lovely people, but I have no interest in dating a whale, a yeti, or big foot any of them. I would rather just go to class and come home and relax. Tomorrow is just another day, and the day after is when all of the marked up sweets go on sale. Which means more chocolate frogs for me.

Well. If you didn't want to be told what to do, maybe you shouldn't have jumped off the roof in the first place. It's basic logic people. You jump off the roof because you think you can fly without a broom you're going to fall and get hurt. So don't give me that look like I'm the asshole when I ask you if you've partaken in any behavior altering substances. I was even being nice because I know how much broken bones suck. No really. Actually nice. I broke my leg when I was seven when both Annette and Kelsey decided to push me off of the top of the slide and mum took me to the muggle doctors and I was in a cast the whole summer.

So what we've learned today:

• You can't fly without the use of a broom.
• You're going to get hurt if you try.
• My sisters are evil.
• It's not my fault people are stupid sometimes. But without them, I'd be most likely out of a job. So hurt people are mostly okay in my book.

Yes. Please. I want you to keep sending me letters addressed to the masses late at night with pointless reminders about what tomorrow might hold. Because that's not repetitive, or time consuming or pointless right now. Especially when I'm doing something so trivial as sleeping. I know, I know, it's quite silly of me to think that I would actually need something so pointless for my sixteen hour day tomorrow. And a little more than half of that sixteen hours spend doing this internship. Clearly I don't know these things yet, and I still need to be reminded to "wear comfortable foot wear", or "that we get one hour for lunch", or "to be prepared for anything".

I had no idea about these things. And this is the first time that I'm hearing about any of these things now that we're three weeks into this. So, I beg you, keep sending me these little reminders well into the night. So that I have have plenty of them to shove down your Keep sending them. Because now that I'm no longer wasting my time with such a silly thing as sleep, you now have my undivided attention.

In general, I'm rather enjoying the days that I'm at my internship this semester. It's challenging, and I already feel like I've learned more in a few weeks then I have in the past year. I know this to be an actual false statement, but that's just how it feels none the less. Then there are days like today.

I go out with the senior Medi-Wizards on a call and we find two blokes arguing. Now, as they were arguing one just so happened to be doing a reel. Why a reel you ask? Because the shoes that the other man had given him were charmed to not stop until the man's feet were bloody and worn out. We got them to stop, fixed his feet, got him off to St. M's., whatever. Routine. But here's what's been bothering me. What man gives another man a pair of shoes for a present? That's just wrong. Even if they're enchanted for revenge. You don't give another man a pair of shoes as a present. It's just weird. And possibly a little suspect. And don't be weird people. We've got enough of them running around. We don't need to be adding to their numbers.